Memoirs of a Nobody

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

So, due to having a second bout of this vicious cold, I’ve been taking sleeping pills in order to sleep without listening to my chest rattle.

Due to one of the side-effects of Seroquel, I’ve been suffering odd dreams lately…well, not so much odd as they are memories of my past, mixed in with fears of my future. They’re dreams I’ve had before, but made so much worse by the effects of the drug since it’s harder for me to wake up from, not to mention, my brain has more control over them then they do normal nightmares.

And it wouldn’t be that bad, I’m a normal suffer of night terrors due to the fact I have an anxiety disorder, all my fears and worries tend to express themselves at night, but having four very long nighmares that I can’t wake up from in two days is driving me insane and depressing me.

Not to mention, one of them left me sobbing inside and outside of my dream (you know it’s bad when you wake up crying).

I would kill, to have a normal dream, let alone a happy dream. I don’t want to dream about my mother kicking me out, Thanksgiving (er, don’t ask), family, and Elmira High School. I don’t need my past coming back to my future in the dreams, when I can’t change it.

Edit to add: Tom the Turkey (yes, I named my dinner, shush) is in the oven…thankfully cleaned out and spiced. Let’s just hope this doesn’t go like the last time I tried to cook turkey.