Memoirs of a Nobody

Alright, so after the dermatologist taking for f-ing ever to get the reports to my pcp (seriously, three weeks? You guys are less then a mile away from each other, I could have walked it there myself faster), Dr. Drew has decided it's stupid to get a mamogram since it the lump wouldn't show up on it (if you see pictures of a mamogram, the positioning of my lump in my armpit would cause only the smallest portion to show up). So instead, I'm now waiting on an ultra-sound, which I agree is the best choice.

Which brings me to my annal post for October...only, not. Usually, right about now I would be doing my yearly BC awareness post, listing the types and signs of common and rare breast cancers for you to be on the look out for, but as I'm going through my own personal drama, I thought I would point out the little known fact of 'armpit breast cancer", that is, a tumor in your armpit.

Most women (and men!), forget about the armpit when doing self-exams simply because it's 'not the breast', but a sad reality is that breast tissue is far more involved then just the knockers that hang off our chest. My pcp recommends the 'bra' rule, if it's covered by a bra, check it for a lump. This includes your upper chest, shoulders (towards your collar bone), armpits and sides. If you feel ANYTHING unusual, get it checked out (like I'm doing!), it could be a cyst, it could be a fatty (begin) tumor, it could be a life threatening disease, you don't know and you CAN'T brush it off.

And on the topic of little known facts, don't forget to remind your sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, etc that men can get breast cancer too (rare, but it happens!), if they feel anything odd, don't let them shrug if off (not only that, but there are other serious causes of lumps on the body, you really should get them all checked out).

For those of you who may have put off your monthly exams and forgot the steps, it's easy peasy and you can do it in a short time (heck, have your partner do it, more fun for all!). Simply lay back (flat prefered, no pillows), put your arm over your head (like a wanton victorian painting) and starting with your shoulder, use two fingers to gently feel the tissue around your shoulders, breast (sides, top, bottom and middle) as well as your armpit and chest side (as far as you can comfortably reach) in SMALL, CIRCULAR motions. Switch sides and repeat. There, all done!

For more information on the signs and symptoms of breast cancer (and the more uncommon ones), visit last years post here.


And don't forget your flu shot! Go out there right now bitches and get it!

(I appolgize for calling you all bitches, too much L.A. Noir)

So it's that time to do my public service announcement of something dear to me, Breast Cancer!

Ladies, don't forget to do a monthly exam. Remember, you lay back, put one arm behind your head, and with the fingers of your other hand (because otherwise you're examining your head, not your breast), gently use a circular motion (small circles, in a line, essentially checking a small area at a time, in lines across your breast). Do this for your actual breasts, the area around it, and your armpit (tis where the lymph nodes are).

If you feel ANYTHING odd, go to your doctor, don't brush it off. Also, don't forget that some breast cancers do not actually HAVE a lump:

Inflammatory Breast Cancer Symptoms:

* A breast that appears red, purple, pink or bruised (without you slamming it into a door or something).
* A tender, firm and enlarged breast.
* A warm feeling in the breast.
* Itching of the breast.
* Pain
* Ridged or dimpled skin texture, similar to an orange.
* Thickened areas of the skin
* Enlarged lymph nodes under the arm, above or below the collar bone.
* Flattening or retraction of the nipple.
* Changes in colour around the nipple (areola).

Paget's Disease of the Nipple Symptoms:

* A persistent redness, oozing and crushing of your nipple, causing it to itch and/or burn.
* A sore on your areola that will not heal.
* Usually only on one nipple.

If you have any of these symptoms, get them checked out! Some problems (such as sores on the breast) are benign, but it's better safe then sorry.

Men! Don't forget that while rare, breast cancer CAN and DOES effect you to (and not just because of the women in your life. While rare, men run a higher risk of the cancer spreading to their lymph nodes as the breast tissue in men is obviously of a smaller quantity.

Male Breast Cancer Signs:

* A lump or swelling which is usually (but not always) painless.
* Skin dimpling or puckering.
* Nipple retraction (turning inward).
* Redness or scaling of the nipple or breast skin.
* Discharge from the nipple.

And that's it for this month! *wonders off mumbling 'why the hell was my BCA icon buried in the back?*