Five years...

[saitaina]

A lot of people (for some asinine reason) have been asking me lately, what I want to do in five years, where I want to be. The awnser hasn't changed since five years ago, but I think that time is slipping away for it to happen. I mean, in five years...I'll be twenty eight.

But for those who wanted the awnser, and those that don't...this is the life I want for me in five years.

I want to be living in London (or anywhere in England but preferably London), still attempting to figure out the British Pound. I want to have a job I love, preferably in the arts. I want a close group of friends that I meet with every weekend at the local pub to bullshit about our week and how we're all going to run away someday to a tropical island.

I want my son to be wondering around trying to get into trouble while I attempt to write a new scene for my third book (yes I have no plans to finish number two and three soon). I want to watch him chase after the dog and giggle when he stumbles and ends up on his arse, pouting (and then give him ice cream).

I want to watch the sunset as I snuggle with a fluffy black kitten named Snowball and know that I'm content with the life I have.

Comments

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

now the question - how you going to go about reaching those goals? not to seem hard/pessimistic and whatnot, it's just a realistic thing to keep in mind. like, i plan to have a ferrari by the time i'm 40. how am i going to do it? make movies and such. how am i going to have the oppertunity to make big enough films to finance a ferrari? make independant films to get myself out there, talents and all. how am i going to make independant films, where am i going to get the knowledge/experience and all? go to a good college that will teach me anything i need to know about how to go about that stuff.

all for a ferrari. what are your footsteps to living in london?

[saitaina]

Clear out my bank account and fly to London...not really that hard darling.

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

ok, so you end up in london, what then? just walk into the employment line and tell them you want a job you love? and until then, where you staying?

yeah... i could gather up all my money and fly places, too, but to settle down? screams practicality, and without a practical plan, the odds are stacked way against you.

also, it's so easy to just clear your bank account and go... so why not? it's where you want to be, do it.

[saitaina]

Darling, I'm an actress and director with enough stage credits to my name to cover three sheets of paper. I have an agent who has contacts in London and has already offered to make a call to them if I wish to finally go. There are such things as estate agents who can set me up with a flat.

And I've never been practical. Why should I be when it's not who I am? I'm quite used to landing on my own two feet no matter where I throw myself so why start planning now?

As for things holding me back...I have lived as an only child with my mother for 23 years...that's a long time to just up and leave her behind. We've outlasted most marrages, it takes some getting used to, the idea of living with an ocean between us. That is why the dream has been the same for ten years. I am waiting.

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

ahh, alright. good reasons and all.

i just don't want to see that you're waiting and all, and then when the time comes to go, the time's up and it's too late, you know?

[saitaina]

True, but as a great man once said..."It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live." Advice I live by.

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

good advice so long as you don't take it out of context. it could be pertaining to more superficial dreams, such as, well, owning a ferrari for instance. dwelling on a dream that won't bring you happiness, that won't instill a life to live and all. therefore, dwelling on a dream that could instill happiness (i.e living in london surrounded by friends) and thus a life to live and all, could be entirely plausible and even good.

all how you look at it. you've people that live in the short term, which is all well and good, but that short-term is going to run out soon if they're not careful, and how do they feel when they have a bad day? wasted day and all. live in the long term, and count yourself lucky everyday because you're moving closer towards your goals and dreams with each passing day. bad days to the long term are kept in perspective, ya know?

i'm in a bullshitting mood today... such a good day to be writing summer assignment essays... hahaha

[saitaina]

Actually, dwelling on any dream, weither good or ill for you is bad. You'll forget to look at what you have right in front of you.

People waste away in their desire to fullfill their dreams, never seeing what's there. Just as inaction could be a curse, so can refusing to give up on something. Somethings are just out of your reach.

And the short term never runs out darling, long term is made up of several chances of short term. And if you count your moments in smaller spans of time, you have a lot more of them. It's a lot easier to celebrate the small things, then spend your life planning and preparing for years to come.

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

short term can run out. i know people that invested everything in the short term, and now they're bankrupt and miserable.

long term keeps the big things in the long term, and true, some people can miss the little things along the way, but not all people. there's really no 100% short term/long term, just like there's really no 100% right/left wing in politics. the closest you get turns into fascism/communism. those two are decidedly bad things, and so are complete short/long term. could it be possible to live entirely in the short term? could it be possible to live entirely in the long term? humans weren't made to be 100% commited to things other than other humans, and even then it gets shady. so sit in the middle of short/long term and voila, great life. good short term, good long term, and it works out fine.

[saitaina]

I live entirely in the short term dear, I'm also 100% left wing in politics. I don't belive in waiting or planning for things that, given history, will never come. Dreams are all well and good but very few people achive them. I've given up working towards anything really when reality just steals it away. It's a lot easier to just enjoy the single moment your in then to work towards a goal and get your heart broken in the end.

And why are those two things bad things? Because of what you've heard? Because someone told you?Or have you truly looked it up, researched the facts, and decided for yourself?

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

so what happens when your series of short termed fun times runs out? like money with the left-wingers. bush didn't cause the economic shortfall we're in today, clinton did with his liberal policies. economies are handed from one president to the other, and rarely do the policies of one president effect that president during their term. look at the president during the depression, hell if i remember his name, but he was handed an economy that was set to fall, he didn't create it. it's the people who live in the short term that then say "he was a horrible guy, it was fine during the guy before, we should have elected someone else" blah blah blah. no country in the world has the means to support 100% left wing, no country in the world is strong enough to support 100% short term. wanna talk some more politics? wars are the best things ever for economies. what finally ended the depression for us? WWII started. sure, we weren't in it at the beginning, but we were exporting supplies like mad. so in this failing economy that we've been left with by clinton, is war such a terrible thing? and considering the amount of troops we've lost, keep in mind, they're volunteer troops. when they sign up, if they're smart enough to ask "will i go into war" the recruiter will 90% of the time, if they're a good recruiter, doesn't lie and say, "no way, you're special, just shine the big guy's boots and all is well", no, they say, "yeah, probably." tragic that they die, but ya know, how many died in all the other wars we've fought? we're trying to protect ourselves and all, and people say, "well, if we'da left them alone and all" hello, we'd been leaving them alone, the

[saitaina]

Actually, we had a surplus when Bush took office, he spent it on war, thus the short fall. Rosevelt was president during the depression which wasn't caused by budget but by Black Tuesday.

Wars are NOT the best thing for economies. The depression tapered off before WWII due to Rosevelt creating Social Security, Welfare and other public aid, not to mention creating thousands of goverment jobs and securing other jobs via goverment projects. WWI and WWII actually put a crimp in economy due to rationing. We couldnt' buy what we needed so the economy faltered.

They attacked us for actions WE took. BinLadin HATES us for our troops being on land we don't have a right to be on. He was quite happy with us when we were saving their asses, but we didn't leave when we should have and now he's pissed off, which, he's right. If they came here, helped us out but didn't leave and tried to control us, yeah, we'd be rather pissed off too.

Iraq is not a thorn in our side, Hussain is. The Iraq people were undre a dictator who told them what to think, say and do. American's have a rather hard time understanding that because we were born to the Freedom's we hold. They weren't. Our generation was raised in two very seperate ways. We have always known the freedom's we hold, yet our counterparts were born to war, death, torture and the polical medica telling them we're evil. I hope to every god ever named and those not that our children don't fight this same war but I doubt it considering how both sides were raised.

Perhaps France should be the world's leading power considering how much we fuck it up. We're arrogant, snobby, mucle bound pricks who think we know what's right for the world. What right do we have to tell other nations how to live? We're not them, we're not even close. So a system works (not well) for us? Big fucking deal. Not everything that works for us works for others and even then it doesn't work for us most of the time. We're fools to think that we're better then any other nation because we're not. The human shortfal is thinking that we know better then someone else.

Clinton cover things up? Dude couldn't even cover up an affair. No president or canidate is honestly better then the other. They're human. They screw up, they fail. Some are better at the job, some make stupider mistakes. But they're still human beings, trying to do what's right. The problem is they're trying to do what's right for a nation that could honestly care less. Everyone's just trying to find something to pick apart about either side and it's not getting anything done.

How would my heart feel in the middle of a major depression? Honestly, I probably could care less. I make 500$ a month in which I have to live off of, I rank lower than most people on welfare. I get foodstamps which still don't provide enough food to eat for the month without going hungry at some point. I can barley aford to have heat in the winter. So when those of you who live nice middle class lives start bitching about how expensive the world is...try stopping for a moment to think of me, shivering in 30 degree temps, no heat on, no food, barley able to pay rent. I'm two steps away from living on a street corner while you enjoy all the comforts life has to offer. I don't fear a depression state in this country because guess what darling, I'm already there and beyond.

Try looking at China dear, where some people are quite happy with their lives, or the Russians who want to go back. Just because some people doesn't like it doesn't mean it's entirely bad. Some people like our form of democracy. I don't. I think it's a joke that's not even funny anymore.

So what happens when my short term fun runs out? Take a look at my life. There is no fun in the long term because I'm not granted it. From the moment I was born the long term was about struggle, pain, heartache with a bit of death thrown in to make it intresting. The short term is all I have to enjoy the moment of simple pleasures. If I didn't live in the short term, I wouldnt' get up in the morning. Hell, I wouldn't be here, because I would have given in a long time ago.