saitaina | Full Metal Alchemis Fics x2

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

…I wrote het. *dies*

Title: Promise
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst
Characters: Riza, Royxother
Summary: It hurts, sometimes it hurts so bad you want to die…but promises have to be
kept. Riza centric regarding Roy.

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Originally published at <a href="http://www.memoirs.moricia.com/?p=401">Memoirs of a Nobody</a>. You can comment here or <a href="http://www.memoirs.moricia.com/?p=401#comments">there</a>.…I wrote het. *dies* Title: Promise Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Angst Characters: Riza, Royxother Summary: It hurts, sometimes it hurts so bad you want to die…but promises have to be kept. Riza centric regarding Roy. <lj-cut text="Promise"> name="storytext"> It hurts, sometimes. To watch them together. I feel as if I’m being stabbed repeatedly, every time I gather a glimpse of them. I try, desperately I try, to be the friend I promised. To love and support him no matter what…no matter with who. But all the pretty promises can’t take away the pain. It’s still there, deep inside me, covering by a smiling lie. I don’t’ want to hear about them, from others or from their own lips. I have the urge to press my hands over my ears and run screaming ever time someone opens their mouth. I know it’s wrong but it’s almost as if that’s the only way I can block out the pain, drown out the words with my own screams. I never do it though, I just smile and laugh. Like a good friend. A friend willing to stand beside him and support him. Like a friend that isn’t slowly dying inside. My face feels constantly wet. My eyes burn. But still the tears don’t fall, even though I know they’re there. Invisible even to the sight of the one who sheds them. I can’t let them fall, even though it feels like they already have. The blood isn’t visible either, even though I know it’s there. Just like the tears, unseen as each drop slides down my chest and stomach. A ghostly feeling. It’s so odd, how you’re heart can continue to beat even when it’s shattered into a billion pieces, a heavy, weighty, bleeding lump in your chest. My hands stills hake when he stands too close, still itch to touch him…but now it’s to shake him and scream instead of pulling him closer. So I don’t touch him. I just smile. And I am happy for him…don’t I look happy? The smile is perfect, no cracks. No tears, no blood. No pain. What a foolish little lie for a foolish girl. In the end there is only pain. Pain as he walks away, pain as he loves another, pain as he smiles and laughs and tells everything I don’t want to hear about a relationship I don’t want him to have. Pain as he tells me how much he loves someone else. And he KNOWS I love him. He should KNOW how much it hurts. But I promised. I promised to be his friend first and to support him in anything, good or bad. And I knew this day would come when I made the promise. I just didn’t think it would hurt this badly. I thought I could walk away, that the smiles would be honest, that I wouldn’t care. Foolish, foolish little girl. But I’m HIS foolish little girl. I never wanted to be owned, but find myself bound to him. No matter how much it hurts, I’m still here. No matter how painful, I’m still watching. I’m still here to smile and laugh and listen to every juicy detail that he explains with relish and often heated remembrance. Because I promised. Because I love him. </lj-cut> Title: Chasing the Past Rating: PG Characters: Roy/Riza, Edward Warnings: Angst Summary: Edward sees only the future while Roy examins the past. ‘Roy/Riza, Edward) <lj-cut text="Chasing the Past"> name="storytext">Dear Roy- Well, I guess it’s that day, unless my calendar has a habit of lying to me. I can’t believe it’s already here. I kept expecting it â€˜next week’ and â€˜next week’… I guess “next week” is today. He glanced at the old church to his left, watching the laughing, smiling crowd as they moved towards the double doors, the bride’s veil trying to escape her head in the wind that had picked up. Her groom grabbed it for her and held the train of it close to his chest so the wind couldn’t get purchase. He smiled down at his bride and bestowed a kiss to her nose, despite the calls that it wasn’t right to do before the wedding. Edward shook his head and turned away, long ponytail swinging, the wind deciding it was a fitting victim as he shoved his hands in his pockets, walking further down the road, passing the long line of cars and a horse drawn carriage that was obviously waiting for the bridal party inside the church. He turned right and looked up at the brick building across the street, set back slightly from the road and smiled. After glancing to make sure it was safe he jogged across, pulling open the thick wooden door, the smell of cigarette smoke and liquor filling him. I thank you for your invitation. It was quite…surprising to receive in the post. Al is thankful for his invitation as well, but sends his regrets. The shoppe doesn’t run itself these days and one of us always has to be there. It would be nice to travel to Central again, I agree. It’s been a long time since I was there and there are a lot of old friends I would like to catch up with. “Whiskey, please.” Edward said, sitting at the bar. He smiled at the bartender, reaching over to snag the pack of fags lying on the counter, making use of the convenient lighter. He coughed harshly, holding his chest before taking another â€˜soothing’ drag. It had been a while. The bartender laughed at his coughing fit and set the whiskey in front of him. He lit his own cigarette, leaning back against the counter behind him, watching the small blond as he sipped his drink and scribble words on a piece of paper that looked well traveled. “Girl problems?” “Of a sort.” I’m just sorry I can’t attend your wedding. You see, I have a policy of only attending one horror show a year and sadly this year’s quota is all filled up. If you had made it for next year… Besides, you wouldn’t want me there. I’m just the kid who fell in love with you. Who would want me there on your happy day to rain my bitterness all over the party? “You want to talk about it?” “Nah.” He drained the rest of his drink “Can you do me a favor though?” “Sure thing, kid.” “Give this to the Colonel when he arrives.” he said, handing over a cream coloured parchment envelope. “Sure thing,” he said, saluting the boy as he slid off his barstool and disappeared out the door. I saw you today. Both of you. I’m glad you’re both happy, Roy. I truly am. And I hope you keep that happiness. I guess I’ll see you around, somewhere along the road. I love you, and wish you all the happiness of the future. Edward Elric “Sir,” “Yes, Jean?” Roy said, looking up from a whispered conversation with his best man to blink at his friend who was stuck playing bartender for the night. “A letter, sir.” he held out the envelope entrusted to his care earlier that day. He watched his friend open it, eyes scanning every word, eye growing more and more emotionless. “When did you get this?” “A few minutes ago, sir. Before you and the others arrived.” Roy nodded and folded back up the letter, stuffing it into his pocket. “I’m just a kid who fell in love with you…” “Edward!” The blond turned, one step on the first rise of the train stairs, the other still on the platform. He fought against the smile that wanted to burst across his face and instead shifted his bag. “I don’t think this is how you’re supposed to spend your wedding night, sir. Chasing after the past.” “You’re not the past, Edward.” Golden eyes darted to the ring on the Colonel’s left hand and he smirked sadly. “I do believe I am, Roy.” He tilted his head. “What was it you wanted?” Roy stared at the boy…no…man, in front of him and smiled softly. “I don’t honestly know now.” he said. The train whistle blew and Edward took another step, closer to the inside of the train, closer to leaving. Roy forced his legs forward and touched Edward’s arm. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.” Edward said softly, looking down on his friend for once in his life. “Life is what it is. Go home, Roy.” he blew him a kiss as the train started to pull out, gripping the side bar and watching as the other man grew smaller and smaller, the distance between them widening. “I love you, and wish you all the happiness in the world” </lj-cut>