Just me...

[saitaina]

I can never be her, she was something...some level I could never touch.

A goddess, amongs mere mortals.

I'm not a gothic beauty, I'm not an incredible artist, I'm not the be all and end all of catches.

I'm just...me.

I'm not even sure I would WANT to be her. For if I were her, I would not be me. And I would have hurt someone beautiful, precious and wonderful.

I just wish he'd see me.

But how can I ask him to let go of the opast, when I can't? How can I ask him to look at me, to notice me, to care for me, when I'm not sure I'm worthy of it?

For as she was a human goddess, he is certainly a human god.

So, maybe I should stay in the shadows, simply watching and enjoying the light.

Because I'm not sure if I have the power to shine, and I'm afraid of being eclipsed by the past.

And no matter what, I will always be here, a shoulder, a hand, an arm, and any other part he may need of me. To lean on, to hold, to simply be there.

I can happily love as a friend, if it is my only way to love at all.

Though, he must forgive me if I tresspass in my lonely thoughts and dreams.

After all, I'm just me...and I'm simply human.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/lost_complex_/]

Who said a person had to be all of that to mean anything to me? She wasn't a goddess, and she wasn't perfect. She would cry and scream at me if I stopped paying attention to her for even a second. She had to control everything I did. I couldn't leave the house without asking her first, and if she said no, I had to quietly sit down and do as she said or else she'd cry and threaten all manner of horrible things to herself. She liked to cut me, it's what got her off.

That's not a Goddess. That's a nutcase, and I'm one, too. She's an infection I'm trying to clean out of me, not some ideal I hold every female to. That doesn't shine.

[saitaina]

Well you have to admit I only hear the stuff you miss so...it's kinda hard for me to know what she was like.

And I know it's wrong for me to compare but you really liked her so...I do have to look at some of the qualities and see if I have anything that matches up.

Although honestly from what you just said she was soo not anything I would want to be.

But like I said, I can only be me. I can compare and contrast all I want but in the end, I'm still exactly who I was in the begining...which is rather a good thing since I kinda like me.