Forgotten Times

[saitaina]

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

So my mother has been harping on me for the past month or so that ‘we’ need to clean out the garage to get ready for the yard sale that will never happen (because the chances of my mother, my grandmother and Debbie speaking to each other at any given time is limited to nill).

Now, I hate the garage, it’s dirty, dusty, filled with cobwebs and other things that are better off buried. But I’m tired of listening to her whine so I start working on it (what happened to ‘we’, lady?), and realize just why I’ve left those boxes, bags and cupboards alone for so long.

The ghosts of the past are not easily laid to rest, and it hurts, quite a bit of the time, to watch pieces of my life fall away.

I’m a pack rat, I save almost everything of the slightest bit of meaning, pictures, postcards, letters, and those things I expected to be emotional about. But the small things…an old collectible card, a HP magazine article…those things hurt just as badly, representing a time in my life that’s over and that I can’t go back to. A part of my life buried in a dusty box, waiting for me to decide if it’s worth keeping.

So, as I’m going through this very painful process of sorting through my past and determining it’s worth…my mother starts whining I have to stop working on the garage and now have to organize the house…because some how everyone thinks it’s appropriate enough to drop things off here for the yard sale (and a bunch of crap we got from Grandmere moving).

And I can’t just stop and work on the house…because if I stop, I won’t start again. It’s so painful to even touch some of these items, let alone think about what they mean.

I just wish she’d give me some time, to finish this very painful journey so I can put it behind me.

…I finally threw away my phlebotomy textbook…I don’t know how I feel about that. Kept the X-mas cards from HPfGU’s though (and for some reason the BTVS collectible cards from Robin…I really should throw those away).

Comments

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

*very belated hugs*

I too have packrat tendencies... though I'm trying to break myself of that. I NEVER go back and look at the stuff I save, it sits in boxes forever. If I ever do go through it, do I think it will make me smile? No, like you I will get depressed. Nostalgic. Feel old. Blargh.

*moar hugs*

[saitaina]

There's really no point in looking back, unless you want to depress yourself, I think.

...though I finally found the shoes I've been looking for since May (which mum promptly stole again...).

...REPLY TO CRACKED!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

But it's hard to just PITCH the stuff. I always think when I'm an old lady I'll want to look at it. Heh.

I will! I'm just way behind on everything so I'm trying to not get too RP-y before catching up on everyone's RL stuff. But now that I'm at work, where if I DO feel naughty and get online, I usually only check my email/reply to comments, rather than check f-lists. So yes, today I shall reply!

[saitaina]

Yay!

I may/may not be gone until Sat. night due to the yard sale (mum wants someone to stay at grandmere's old house to babysit the yard sale stuff [like it's all going to run away to Mexico if we're not watching it], but for some reason she's being whiney and saying 'she'll just have to do it since I'm sick' [yeah, like that's stopped you from working me like a slave, lady]), so...I'll email you if I leave, if not...I reply!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Ick, good luck with that :|

My weekend is looking annoyingly busy. But I won't drop any threads -- we can be slow, no pressure!