Dear doctors:

[saitaina]

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

Please stop giving me bad news every time I see you. Seriously, can you both just save it up for one appointment and then we’ll get it all over?

And can you two please DECIDE on what’s killing me in the future, rather then giving me a list of ten different things?

So not only am I (supposedly) pre-diabetic, and have a disease that could render me infertile…but now none of that matters because I’m going to end up either having a stroke or heart attack by the time I’m 40-50 because of high blood pressure.

Oh yes, and I’m going to end up with arthritis in my thirties (umm, idiot, I already have it in my wrists and fingers, stop skipping things in my reports).

Also the whole lecture on what I eat? Did you not see mum’s and my face? I DON’T EAT THAT SHIT! Not to mention, I barely eat as it is because of food allergies and reactions. Cutting out ten calories is fine, cutting out anything more and I’ll be eating…well nothing because I already eat 800 calories a day (though more lately due to construction, fast food is easier then fighting with the fact the stove is in the living room).

And the next doctor to tell me to try ‘low carb’ is going to get a otoscope up their ass. I eat a limited amounts of food to keep my body from flipping out on me, all of those have a number of carbs outside the range. I’m not switching to a diet that will either make me sick or be so bland and tasteless that I’d rather starve then eat.

Also Dr. S? Stop giving me that look when I tell you I know what I’m doing. No, I don’t have a degree nor the pretty initials after my name, but I do know nutrition. It’s not that hard to learn considering all the information you need is avaible in a book and on the internet.

When you study it for several years to balance a family full of allergies, diabetes, intolerance and just dislike, you pick up a fact or two. I cook for a family of, at our largest, seventeen people. Two of those are diabetic, one is allergic to dairy, sugars and something else, one is allergic to any nut, two others are on low sodium diets, one can’t have dairy (not allergic), two can’t have ANY spices or acids, and the others are just generally picky.

I have to cook for them, and make sure what I cook is not only tasteful and healthy, but fits their private concerns. So yes, I know nutrition. I also know that I have an urge to open a restaurant that deals with special dietary needs, it’s much needed.

I know I need more exercise, you’re not telling me anything new. Sitting at this computer 16 hours a day is not helping me, but it’s fucking cold and I’m lazy. Leave me alone for the season. And that’s another thing, can you two AGREE on what I need for exercise?! One’s telling me walking 25 minutes a day will help, the other says only 4-5 HOURS of exercise will help (yeah, bite me, I don’t DO 4 hours of exercise…unless it’s cheer leading or gymnastics).

I’m going to go with the opinion of most experts and exercise for thirty minutes, enough for my heart and no more…though I might try to walk more if (big if) I go anywhere).

…soon as the sleeping meds wear off.

*head desk* I like having doctors that finally listen and care, but honestly, just give me a break every once in a while here guys!