saitaina | Conversations of the Insane: The Lawn of Death Demon

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

(AIM names have been changed to protect identities, this is hilarious, I’m Dragon, Robyn is Philly)

Dragon*** (1:56:50 PM): I feel it best to warn you that my mother is trying to kill me
Philly***** (2:04:43 PM): oh?
Dragon*** (2:05:42 PM): Bloody bint offered me money to mow a lawn she hasn’t mowed since last summer, nearly had a heart attack out there. hehe, got back at her though by putting the chair to sit on in the most damp spots avaible and making holes…still have to do the front lawn though. If I have a heart attack I’m going to haunt her.
Philly***** (2:06:16 PM): uh huh….
Dragon*** (2:07:20 PM): Oh shush, it’s hard to mow the lawn, it’s hot, my body is STILL trembling, my throat’s now sore and I think I got grass in my clothes and I’m allergic to grass…plus it was a mini jungle out there so I had to restart the mower like five hundred times and it’s a ten year old mower.
Dragon*** (2:07:27 PM): It started smoking before I was half way done
Philly***** (2:10:05 PM): It’s just a lawn. You weren’t battling demons ya know
Dragon*** (2:11:21 PM): Was too, I was battling the evil Lawn of Death Demon. He’s much hard to fight and nearly sucked in Sherby before I slayed him. His blood is now all over my shoes…and most of the living room where I walked to collapse on couch before gathering enough strength to venture here to tend to my wounds (which I actually have all over my hands, fucking blisters)
Philly***** (2:11:57 PM): Your nuts
Dragon*** (2:12:02 PM): but you love me