I want it all to end

[saitaina]

I'm so sick of this bullshit.

I'm sick of the fighting, I'm sick of the tears, I'm sick of being responsible for every fucking thing that goes wrong in this family.

I'm sick of being the reason mums' brother's won't lend her money, I'm sick of being the 'embaressment' to that bitch called her mother.

I'm so fucking sick of my family.

So you know what, screw you guys. Fuck you and your petty, over dramatized, pathetic little family.

I'm a Malfoy now, the Loeffler's mean nothing to me.

You can all fucking rot in hell.

I'm not the perfect little princess. A little redheaded clone to follow along as you whim. I have my own life, my own dreams, my own reality. I refuse to bow and scrape to your commands anymore.

It's not a good idea to pick a war with someone who will out live you. You won't like my Eulogy.

So I have no one on my side, I know my mother will come crawling back for the scraps you offer. I don't need them, nor do I need her for my strength.

I finally see the wedge that will break us apart...but no worries, I can find my own way without mummy's apron strings.

After all, I'm the black sheep, the bitch, the destroyer. Whatever name you give me now.

I hope next time The Bitch has a surgery she chokes on the tube in her throat. You can blame me for that too. I hope my uncles drown in their money. That's the only thing it's good for.

I hope the Loeffler family poisons itself with it's own tounge.

And I hope to the gods that my children never have to know what horrid bastards their spawned from. That they never know the hatred, the pain, the anger, the discrimination that runs in our blood. I hope they never know anyone in my family because they're all the scum of the earth...my children deserve better then this bile.

All I wanted, was to be loved.

I'm sorry that's too big a fucking thing to ask.

Comments

[sanitiesend.livejournal.com]

i love you.

*hugs*

[saitaina]

Thanks babe. I'm feeling les...homicidal now.

Mum called uncle mike for a loan (you know, the rich uncle) to cover some bills and he told her that if she kicks me out of the house he'll give her the loan.

Apparently he's angry I didn't take Grandmere to the sugery center the day after mum was hospitalized.

*rolls eyes*