(no subject)

[saitaina]

I keep hearing her, in the other room, and I nearly turn before remembering...realizing she's not actually there. The smile fades from my lips as I listen to the creaking of a mostly empty house and I start to wish for even a shadow of her so that I can feel something other then complete loneliness.

Her pressence lingers...and yet, the house doesn't 'feel' right, because she hasn't been here in so long.

It feels so empty here.

I wonder how long I would have stayed if she had actually died. How long would I have lived in the empty, echoing silence before giving it up and moving on. I'm tied here...but I don't know if I'm tired to a memory or a ghost.

There are too many shadows here.

...

I miss him too. A part of my heart locked away where I can't reach it. There's so much pain inside it and it's hidden from me. Just like I can't touch him and make him stop hurting.

I've cried so much there are no more tears left.

Comments

[pinkfinity.livejournal.com]

Saity, I completely missed everything that happened to you & yours these last weeks - I think your most intense posts were while I was powerless from hurricane wilma, and I never caught up. Sending all my hugs...