Sadness

[saitaina]

I saw the ENT the other day (my hearing's getting worse and the ringing in my ears is actually getting painful)...he couldn't fix any of that (he claims my hearings perfect...maybe because the audiology exam is geared towards that, but that's a different issue), and unfortunately he confirmed something I really, really didn't want to hear.

My balance will never come back, and will in fact (as I've noticed) get worse.

Which means any thoughts of going back into gymnastics or dancing (even as an amateur), riding a bike (bicycle or motorcycle), basically anything really that requires balance, is lost to me. Which kind of crushes a few dreams. I always wanted to take up gymnastics and dance again, re-learn what was once muscle memory and pick up where I left off...

...And I always dreamed about owning a Harley. Granted, I can own one, but unless said Harley comes with training wheels, it won't be going anywhere.

So, that's that.

The technology has not caught up enough to reverse Meneres Disease yet, and I will probably not be a candidate by the time it has.

I've always had poor balance thanks to my inner ears (also the reason I get carsick), but now that it's getting worse, it's kind of sad, all the things I won't be able to do anymore. And just to give you an example, I can't even do a handstand (my balance says I'm straight, but I'm not), nor can I do a cartwheel properly, I end up off course (diagonal or falling over instead of straight). It's those small things you miss.

I would give up a lot, just to do a cartwheel...

Comments

[inquisitorial.livejournal.com]

i know they make motorcycles with three wheels

[saitaina]

...that would be so cool! I'd get laughed at, but who cares!

[marsdejahthoris.livejournal.com]

You might not. Big fat chopper trikes can be just as impressive as two-wheelers. Look for something in the layback position, which is like sitting in a chair...

[saitaina]

*ponders* maybe instead of car...I get trike! *giggles*

BTW, love, are you still reading my Dance Series, or did I lose you? I haven't seen a comment lately and yours were always great!

[marsdejahthoris.livejournal.com]

Well, I fell away, due to some personal issues, and then I always SUCK at trying to catch up on things I've fallen away from. It's not that you lost me... more I kind of lost myself.

[saitaina]

Ahh, was just curious. It was more noticeable the last two chapters since there were more personalities appearing.

I hope your issues are better, as you can tell by my journal, I'm well, well used to that.

(btw, I never gave it to you, but my AIM name is BitterNovelist. Everything else is Saitaina)

[marsdejahthoris.livejournal.com]

You know me, I'm PhntQueen or Heitech2008. PhntQueen is usually invisible. Just hail me if you want to talk, even if I don't look like I'm on.

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Awww :(

If it makes you feel any better, I've never been able to do a cartwheel...? :D? (okay, well, it was worth a shot)

[saitaina]

:oP

Reppplyyy, I've been waiting all dayyyyy

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

LOL - I can't do it at work anymore, remember? I have to catch up on everything at home so I'm slower. Besides, if it takes you weeks, I figure I can take a day :D

[saitaina]

Nuh uh, you have to do it right away!

[lumy12.livejournal.com]

Oh that's not unfair or anything :P :P :P

'k I'll reply before bed. Pluto's pretty much dead so I don't even log into Palps' LJ more than a couple times a week now.

[saitaina]

Don't worry about switching, just join as your main name, it's no bother to me (there's only two of us, we can figure out whos's who *grins*) I have not interest in letting buracracy and rules get in the way of fun.

If you know anyone from Pluto who might want to come over, feel free to invite them, tell them it's a very open and accepting game, I'm up for almost anything.

[notfromajedi.livejournal.com]

I'm too anal for that! Must switch! :D