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[saitaina]

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

I went target shooting today…well, more like I went out to the backyard and took pot shots at a can. It’s the first time I held a gun since Ashley was shot when I was fourteen or so…

Generally, it’s just like riding a bicycle, the feeling of the weight in your hand, the recoil (though obviously the pellet gone I shot today has less recoil then my older handgun), the…feeling, as you stare down the sight.

I had forgotten that feeling. I had spent thirteen years fighting against guns since my best friend died that I forgot the simple joy of watching the can go flying because you got it right.

I’m still not happy with the way people treat the weapons, the deaths they cause…the pain of those left behind.

I’m…confused as to how to combine the target shooter inside me, with the gun control advocate who lost her best friend to a fucked up accident.