Apparently…

[saitaina]

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

It is not a good idea to wake my mother.  *grumpy face*

I got asked to sign up for HUD and move out just for trying to QUIETLY crawl into her bed, as my bed has slipped off it’s holder and I can’t lift it by myself (I was actually trying to keep from waking her).

I spent an hour or so crying before she, grumpily, talked with me.  I’m now allowed to stay but she’s unhappy with me because I don’t ‘act like a roomate’, in that I don’t clean the house, I barge into her room at all times, and I hog dishes.

Umm…yeah.  That’s what we agreed to when I moved in and paid you 360$ a month rent.  Okay not THAT exactly but the agreement was I’d pay that, and most other expenses that cropped up that I could afford, and you would cook/clean because I’m a lazy slob who detests such things.

So why NOW is this suddenly an issue, and if it’s such an issue, opening your mouth, moving your lips and tounge and forming words is generally better then suddenly kicking your DAUGHTER out.

And speaking of that, I AM your daughter, NOT a roomate.  Thus the barging in and the pouting and the ‘Mommy can you fix me…”.

I pay you a shit load of money and fix things, those are my jobs.  When you wish to re-negotiate the contract, then approch me to do so, do not let it fester until you explode at three am and make me sob like a five year old.

*sigh*  I know she’s going through a tough time and I know things are iffy right now, but I’m having it rough too.  First my mommy gets locked up, then I get used to being alone and doing things my own way and now this.

I’m trying to be understanding, I really am, but I need some understanding too.  And telling me to ‘get out’, not looking at me while I’m sobbing, not giving me a hug and then telling me I’m responsible for you being suicidal because you want to give me the house so I can live my life/I’m making you misrible and feeling rotten?

Not helping me. 

I sat there for half an hour, debating the various ways I could painlessly kill myself so that your life would be easier without your bitch of a daughter living with you.  And I probably, in my very upset emotional state would have done it, if not for ONE thing that made me want to keep breathing in and out.

But it’s a stupid, stupid thing so I’m not going to mention it.

I don’t want to move.  I really, really, REALLY don’t want to move.  It would kill something inside me to walk out that door again and not call this house mine.  But I’m getting to my breaking point.    I need a goddamn break.

I also need to get some sleep *glares at bed*  Guess the floor will be my friend tonight.