By number and size.

Originally published at Memoirs of a Nobody. You can comment here or there.

Take all your pills and divide them by number and size.

No, this isn’t a meme, I’m just dolling out pills for the month. And it’s a bit disheartening.

Daily I take 1½ pink oblong pills, 1 beige round pill one yellow and white striped capsule, and one beige oblong pill.

Then we get into the ‘when needed’ bottles (which is more and more), which include two small white round pills for sleep, one large horsepill and one small round pill for swelling, two large oblong pills for pain, about five puffs of an inhaler for astmah, one large beige triangle for migraines, one dose from a nebulizer for breathing, and one small white pill that supposedly tastes like peppermint for spasams.

And that’s just what’s prescribed, that doesn’t include two daily vitamins, one daily alergy pill, one daily dose of cough syrup (or more depending on the season), two asperin’s for wrist and ankle pain, and a partrige in a pear tree to round out the set.

…my 70-year-old grandmother doesn’t take this much crap.